Wednesday, February 3, 2010

MAHARASHTRA IS ON SALE

Singh: - We need to take a strong step about the anti-Indian state of Maharashtra. Marathi people are killing our Indian people. I want to hold a secret cabinet meeting tomorrow.

Arindam: - Ok, sir, I will surely arrange the meeting.

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Nivedita:- Hello viewers, as you can see, already in this Grand Hotel of Delhi, all the top ministers of India are having a private cabinet meeting on the issue of anti-Indian Maharashtra state. Already, we can see that Mr. Chirag, a powerful minister of this country is coming out of the hotel gate. Sir, Sir, what was discussed in this meeting? Please tell us something about the next steps regarding the issue of anti-Indian Maharashtra state.

Chirag: - You will all get to know about our decisions or steps very soon. Just wait and watch.

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Jintao: - Hello Mr. Gilani. Have you got any invitation letter from the Indian Government?

Gilani: - Yes, I have received that. I hope that you have also got the invitation letter.

Jintao: - Hmm, Indian Government is not willing to give us Arunachal Pradesh, but they are reluctant to sell the anti-Indian Maharashtra state to China.

Gilani: - How is it possible? Indian Government assured us that they will not give us Jammu and Kashmir, but they will sell Maharashtra state and the entire Thackeray family to Pakistan as they are all anti-Indian elements.

Jintao: - Ok, let us see. Let us go and attend the invitation party there in India, then only, we will understand about it.

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Arindam: - Good afternoon everybody. Today, it is a great afternoon for our India, as we are going to sell the anti-Indian Maharashtra state and the Baal Thackeray family to either Pakistan or China. I would request our honorable minister Mr. Singh, to come on stage and say a few words, before we start our auctions.

Singh: - Good afternoon; ladies and gentlemen. As you all know that due to the racist, communal and anti-Indian Marathi Manus, our India is losing its pride and good image of a peaceful country in front of the entire world. So, after a long cabinet meeting, we have decided to sell Maharashtra to our arch rivals Pakistan or China. Now, Arindam will tell you about the auction procedure.

Arindam: - Ok, ladies and gentlemen, as you can see on the large screen that anti-Indian state of “MAHARASHTRA IS ON SALE”. Only China and Pakistan will be allowed to bid for this state. So, let us start the bidding.

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Mr. Sansani: - Today, there is a hot and good news for India. The anti-Indian Maharashtra state has been bought by Pakistan. Pakistan is willing to give the Pak acquired Kashmir to India and they will now setup their own administration in Maharashtra. Baal Thackeray and his family members have also been sold to Pakistani government. They are now engaged in the profession of writing articles in the newspaper ‘Saamna’, which will be solely distributed to the mental patients of Pakistan, because mental people like Thackeray family members can only write articles for mental patients only. From now on, India will be a peaceful country, as the non – Indian Marathi Manus and Mumbai are not a part of India now. We will tell about this hot news in details, but after the break. So, just stay tuned.

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Nitish: - Yahoo….aaj ke baad, India mein koi ashanti nahi hogaa…sab log peacefully rahega, abiding by the rules of Unity in diversity. Bahut pehle hee Indian Government ko announce kar dena chaiye tha ki, anti-Indian state of “MAHARASHTRA IS ON SALE”. Aaj toh humlog khushi ke maarey Diwali aur Holi ek saath maanayege. Hurrah!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

BURNING BOMBAY

Bala: - How dare this Shahrukh Khan utter those bullshits? If he is a neutral person, then why is he not asking the question, that why a single player from Bangladesh, Scotland, Canada and Zimbabwe have not been taken? Why he is interested about Pakistani players? It is only because of the fact that his parents were Pakistani. Doesn’t he know the fact that Indian Muslims are regarded as Muhajirs or Qafers by those Pakistani Muslims, who only believes in violence and terrorism. He also told that Pakistani players are the best T20 players. That indirectly means that our Indian cricketers are not good at playing T20 cricket. What is this nonsense? As his latest film name is ‘My name is Khan’, so, he wants to promote his film indirectly by supporting Pakistani Muslims. Everyone in Pakistan will feel that, Shahrukh Khan is partly a Pakistani also, so, let us watch his film.

Uday: - at least, Shiv Sena is a patriotic party. We don’t want any Pakistani, Australian and New Zealand players to play in any Indian cricket stadium, because they are killing Indians. Is Shahrukh Khan aware of those facts, before crying out fouls? Everyone knows that India is a peaceful country. India regards every outsider as their guest. Not only have that, Indians always give the hospitality to their guests, as if the guests are just next to God. But, everything has a limit. Some countries will take the unduly advantages of our good behavior towards them, is totally unacceptable. Indians have never caused any harm to any Pakistanis, Australians or New Zealanders, then why the hell, we the Indians are getting killed by them. Tomorrow, if Shahrukh Khan loses any of his relatives, due to a Pakistani terrorist attack on Indian soil, then only, he will understand why all the Indians just hate the Pakistanis.

Arindam:- Hmm, Shahrukh Khan is still having a soft corner for those Pakistani cricketers, who bites the cricket ball, as if they are biting a guava and they are proud of ball tampering. The cricketers, who themselves do not have a sportsman spirit, is getting support from an actor, who don’t even know the letter ‘C’ of cricket. The media is also responsible for adding fuel to the fire. Why are they so much bothered about Pakistani players? Are ‘NDTV’ and ‘Headlines Today’ getting funds from the Pakistanis? The logic is very simple. As an IPL team owner, I need to invest my money on such a player, who will provide me ROI. In that case, why will they invest on players, whose availability has a big question mark? Bhai, Uday, on the other hand, I should say that both Shiv Sena and MNS are not at all a patriotic party. If they are so, then why the hell, they are shouting that Mumbai is for the Marathis only. Sachin is not run out, but it is the Shiv Sena and MNS who are totally Hit-wicket on Marathi soil.

Uday:- Our people sacrificed their life to make Mumbai. Mumbai is for Marathis only.

Arindam: - Non-Marathis invested in Bombay, to make it a financial capital. Dhirubhai, Jamshedji, Birla and other big businessmen created the financial base of Bombay city, and they all were non-Marathis. What the bloody hell, yours Shiv Sena and MNS have done for Bombay? Nothing at all.

Bala:- Our Marathi people are not getting any employment in Bombay.

Arindam: - Create more job opportunities instead of killing the north Indians. Don’t spread communalism between Marathis and Non-Marathis to gain votes. Indian Government should pass a bill, that in India, for any job vacancy in a State, the local people of that state will get 55% priority and the outsider of that state will get the remaining. Now, here the word ‘local’ means a person residing in that state for more than 10 years, devoid of caste, creed and religion. A Bihari leaving in Mumbai for more than 10 years is a local person of Maharashtra state. A social organization like RSS will not tolerate a “BURNING BOMBAY”. JAI SHREE RAM.